Marketing Explained
[The first four were written by Anonymous]

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." -- That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and a gorgeous girl walks up to you and says, "Let's go to bed." -- That's an Impulse Purchase.

You see a gorgeous blond, 24-year old girl at a party. You go put to her and say, "I'm best in bed with blond women between 20 and 28." -- That's Segment or Target Marketing.

You see a gorgeous blond with the tattoo of a seahorse on her shoulder. You go up to her and say, "Hi. I'm best in bed with women with the tattoo of a seahorse on their shoulder." -- That's Niche Marketing.

You're at a party and see gorgeous women. You gather everyone around and announce "We've never met, but I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Mass Marketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. Your friend whispers to you, "take this little blue pill an hour before and you'll be fantastic in bed" -- That's Product Marketing.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go to the bathroom and stick a pair of socks in your pants. You then catch her attention and walk toward her from a sufficient distance announcing, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Merchandising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party and you find out where she goes for coffee. You happen to be there the next morning and tell her, "I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Product Placement.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. A friend whispers to her, "He's fantastic in bed." -- That's Word of Mouth Marketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She whispers to her friend, "That guy gave me this rash." -- That's Viral Marketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You are dressed all in black and you hang out, aloof, against a white wall. Out of curiosity she wanders over and you tell her, "Think Sex". -- That's Apple Computer Marketing.