Top Ten Things You Never Have to Ask Your Cat
by Marc Auerbach

10. Is there something I could do to make you more comfortable?

9. Would you care for seconds?

8. Who does your hair?

7. Did I wake you?

6. Would you like to come in now?

5. Would you like to go out now?

4. Do you believe in animal rights other than your own?

3. Is that a hair ball you’re about to cough up?

2 Wouldn’t you prefer to sharpen your claws on the antiques?

1. Don’t you think it’s a bit warm in here?